1
00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:04,272
Listen up, everybody.

2
00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:06,006
Something strange is afoot.

3
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:07,308
Don't be hard
on yourself, Han.

4
00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:10,211
You're taller than a foot.

5
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:14,282
What's wrong? Somebody rub
your belly for luck again?

6
00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:16,384
No, I think I might
be losing my memory.

7
00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:18,486
According to Netflix,
last night I watched

8
00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:22,056
half the "Taken"s and
all the "Insidious"es-es.

9
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,524
All of them!

10
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:27,328
Relax. You probably
just sleep-watched them.

11
00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:29,130
And you probably also
sleep-ordered

12
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:33,033
28 boxes of tampons
on Amazon.

13
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,602
Max, you hacked into
my accounts?

14
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:36,370
That's illegal!

15
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:39,407
And beyond what I thought you
were intellectually capable of!

16
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:45,746
Not much of a hack when
the password is "Hanstoppable."

17
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:48,048
That's a breach
of trust, girls.

18
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,650
Did you order me
those shoes?

19
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:54,488
Dammit! I should have gone
with "Han Golden Pond."

20
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:59,093
(Peter Bjorn and John)
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

21
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:00,528
[cash register bell dings]

22
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:06,167
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

23
00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:11,205
[cell phone chimes]

24
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:12,340
Oh, this is weird.

25
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,607
There's a message
from Bernard,

26
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:14,742
my grandmother's butler.

27
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:16,244
Why would he
be calling me?

28
00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:18,346
Maybe he butler-dialed you.

29
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:21,349
(Bernard)
Caroline, hello.

30
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,751
I'm calling on behalf
of your grandmother.

31
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:27,721
Wait, she abandons me after
four years with no explanation

32
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,423
and now she reaches out?

33
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:30,258
Now?
[scoffs]

34
00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,326
There is no excuse for that.

35
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,162
(Bernard)
She's been in a coma.

36
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,665
Okay, there's one excuse
for that.

37
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,634
But she's awake now
and wants to see you.

38
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:43,871
Max, she wants to see me.
I'm going to go call him.

39
00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:48,476
She didn't shun me,
she was just practically dead!

40
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:51,545
Max, can I ask your opinion
about something?

41
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,347
If Sophie and I
want to get pregnant,

42
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,149
she needs to be
on drugs.

43
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,351
Oh, to have sex with you?
I get that.

44
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,654
No, fertility drugs.

45
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:05,393
I haven't paid this much for sex
since Orgy Cruise '08.

46
00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:09,129
So I'm going to ask Han
for a raise.

47
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:10,798
What do you think?

48
00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:13,401
I think that'll be
fun to watch.

49
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:15,303
Well, I've come up
with a new password

50
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:17,271
that none of you
will ever guess.

51
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:18,672
Han-ah Montana?

52
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,577
Dammit!

53
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,379
Lookin' good, Han.

54
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,315
Have you been shopping
at Men's Wearhouse?

55
00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:30,150
'Cause I like
the way you look.

56
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:34,822
You know I exclusively
shop at T.J. Maxx.

57
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:37,691
They've been helping me spring
into summer for years.

58
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,462
Hey, everybody!

59
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:46,300
Oleg, what happened?

60
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,303
Did you ask that little
Korean girl for a raise?

61
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,209
Max, my grandmother wants me
to come and see her tomorrow!

62
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:56,377
This is so exciting.

63
00:02:56,477 --> 00:03:00,948
Someone in my family is alive
and not in federal prison.

64
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,450
That is exciting.

65
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:03,617
How much money do you
think we're getting?

66
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:04,618
She's rich, right?

67
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,356
I can't believe all
this time she was in a coma.

68
00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,258
I can't believe
you knew someone in a coma

69
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,460
and I didn't get to
draw a mustache on them.

70
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,433
Hello, Caroline.

71
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,769
Your grandmother's
place is fancy.

72
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,271
I'm just gonna say it.

73
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,739
I don't think anybody
has ever peed in there.

74
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:27,808
(Caroline)
Bernard!

75
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:29,510
You haven't aged at all.

76
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:30,711
Thank you.

77
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,747
She hasn't been awake
to guard her creams.

78
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:37,951
Oh, this brings back
so many childhood memories.

79
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:41,889
Right here is where we had
our 14-foot Christmas tree.

80
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:46,460
And then right here is where
she'd give me her yearly hug.

81
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:50,364
Well, Caroline, have you
bounced back from the scandal?

82
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,500
If you count working at a diner,
sleeping in a wall,

83
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,769
and clothes shopping at CVS,
then she's real bouncy.

84
00:03:57,405 --> 00:04:00,641
And is this
your same-sex partner?

85
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,844
I will be if that
gets me in the will.

86
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:06,380
Bernard, this is Max.
She's my roommate.

87
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,818
Yes, that's what we called them
back in the day.

88
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:11,985
[bell rings]

89
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:15,356
Oh, she's found the bell.

90
00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:16,757
Lucky me.

91
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,759
But that was just
a single dingle.

92
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,394
A warning dingle.

93
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:22,563
[bell rings]

94
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:25,566
Double dingle.
Mayday.

95
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:31,339
Grammy Astrid, it's Caroline!

96
00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:36,276
I know, darling.
I'm old, not blind.

97
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,612
I've missed you so much.

98
00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:43,851
Careful.
Don't get her overexcited.

99
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:47,788
Crack a window.
Smells like Ass-trid in here.

100
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:50,658
I suppose I should
conserve my energy

101
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:53,427
for the luncheon
you're going to throw me.

102
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:54,628
What luncheon now?

103
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:55,696
The one you're
going to throw

104
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:56,997
to re-introduce
her to society,

105
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,699
a sort of
coming out party.

106
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,334
Isn't that more
your turf?

107
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,071
Grammy, I'd be happy
to throw you a luncheon

108
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,406
but I can't afford--

109
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,508
Gah!
[clears throat]

110
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:10,444
Sorry. Caroline,
never mind all that.

111
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,513
Introductions
are in order.

112
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,949
Oh, Grammy.
This is my friend, Max.

113
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:19,487
Hey, uh, I guess,
welcome back.

114
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:22,322
You haven't changed
a bit, Caroline.

115
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,858
Always making friends
with the help.

116
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:28,896
Maria, was it?

117
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:33,333
I'll take a tall glass
of agua, por favor.

118
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:37,705
Hoping there's
a Maria behind me.

119
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:40,073
Caroline,
how have you been?

120
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,643
Are you running
Wall Street yet?

121
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:47,548
No, but I did cut my hair,
which was scary but rewarding.

122
00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:51,885
Grammy, a lot has changed
since I lost all my--

123
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:54,054
Gah!

124
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,490
Seriously, dude,
get an x-ray.

125
00:05:58,492 --> 00:05:59,893
Outside. Now.

126
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:04,932
And still waiting
on that agua, Maria.

127
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,502
Ay, yi yi.

128
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:17,645
Okay, Bernard,
what's with the "gahs"?

129
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,379
You interrupted what
I was saying so often,

130
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,849
it's like we're
a married couple.

131
00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:22,783
I was trying to stop you

132
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,085
from mentioning
your father's scandal.

133
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:28,789
Oh, I thought that's just
how British people fart.

134
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,759
Your grandmother has
no memory of what happened.

135
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,594
When I attempted to tell
her the bad news,

136
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,596
she had a stroke
and slipped into a coma.

137
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,498
I said, "Your son
might be in some trouble,"

138
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,600
and that was it;
she was out.

139
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:43,170
She doesn't know
I lost all my money?

140
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,972
I know.
It's terrible.

141
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:48,909
And what's worse is you have
to tell her she's lost all hers.

142
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:49,943
She's broke?

143
00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:52,480
Then why did I get her
that water?

144
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,553
Hey, girls.
Buckle up.

145
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,690
Oleg's gonna ask Han
for a raise again.

146
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:05,959
Hot stuff,
coming through.

147
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:10,698
Oh look, it's Chef
Boy-Are-You-Gross.

148
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:12,633
Nice hat, right?

149
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:15,102
He wears it in the bedroom
when we role-play.

150
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:17,137
I'm the fussy customer,

151
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:21,108
and he slathers butter
on my biscuit.

152
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:22,976
This isn't the whole costume.

153
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:26,880
I also wear a drumstick
paper frill around my penis.

154
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:30,984
Boner appГ©tit.

155
00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:33,487
Oh, here comes Han.

156
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:34,688
It's showtime, baby.

157
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,223
Well, I have a new password

158
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,225
that no one will ever get.

159
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,193
"Straight Outta
Compt-han"?

160
00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:44,598
Dammit!

161
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:50,604
Mmm!
This food is so good.

162
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:55,576
My compliments to the man
who hired the chef.

163
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:58,612
Oleg, you're not getting a raise
just because Sophie can act

164
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:02,616
like your food is yummy
in her tummy.

165
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,519
Would you change your mind if
I did it in a different accent?

166
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:08,956
I used to act in Poland.
I can do a whole bunch.

167
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:14,161
[Southern accent]
Mmm! My word.

168
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:18,031
I just love this
tasty tortellini.

169
00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:23,270
Mm-hmm!

170
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:36,149
Thank you for
tonight's nightmare.

171
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,122
Uh, table for one?

172
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:45,525
Not for this one, thank you.

173
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,561
Bernard, hi.
What are you doing here?

174
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,529
I could ask the same
of you and follow up

175
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:52,833
with a series of questions
about that hideous uniform.

176
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:55,002
Looks like mustard
and ketchup had a fight

177
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:57,037
and everyone lost.

178
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,642
What up, B-nard?
You look even paler here.

179
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:04,712
And you look perfect here.

180
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,115
Now, something to wear
for tomorrow's luncheon.

181
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,951
One of your grandmother's
Chanel suits.

182
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,319
Here's her guest list.

183
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:15,255
I'm afraid only
one guest RSVP'd "yes."

184
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:19,092
All the rest of her
friends RSVP'd "dead."

185
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:20,794
Bernard, I really do wish
I could give

186
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,963
my Grammy what she wants,
but I don't have the money

187
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,598
for a real fancy luncheon.

188
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:27,234
Or even real milk,
for that matter.

189
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,569
We drink "milk drink."

190
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,041
I don't think she can take
much more disappointment.

191
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,575
This morning I had to
tell her all about

192
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,245
her favorite athlete,
Bruce Jenner.

193
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:45,252
This is so sad.

194
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:46,854
Grammy's whole world is gone

195
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:48,656
and she has no idea.

196
00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:51,625
Max, I have to give her
the one thing that she wants.

197
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:54,928
A major rollback
on civil rights?

198
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,263
No, the luncheon.

199
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,098
She deserves one last hurrah

200
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,067
before I tell her
she's lost everything.

201
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:01,268
I wish someone
had done that for me

202
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,236
before my life
came crashing down.

203
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:05,105
Okay, I'll help you.

204
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:07,675
I mean, Maria will,
if she can find a babysitter.

205
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,388
You are the only person
I'll wear this for.

206
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:24,157
You know, without
the $300 up front.

207
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,828
Thank God Sophie
had that maid outfit.

208
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,629
I think this is gonna work.

209
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:36,136
As long as you don't
turn around.

210
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:38,138
(Astrid)
Caroline, is that you?

211
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,639
Oh, she's coming.
Quick.

212
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,875
Behind the screen.
Put the suit on over that.

213
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,178
You want me to change into a
Chanel suit behind this screen?

214
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,881
Oh, there's room.
I've done it numerous times.

215
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,218
Oh, did the rest of
our staff arrive yet?

216
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,286
Yes, if you can call them that.

217
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,188
Where did you find them anyway?

218
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,891
Um, around.

219
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:01,328
Just push me into the room!

220
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,067
I'm doing
the best I can!

221
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:10,103
These pants are
five sizes too big!

222
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:14,441
Bernard, next time,
don't hire a child butler.

223
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:19,079
And you, don't they have
wheelchairs in China?

224
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,981
I'm from Korea!

225
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,350
I don't think so.

226
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:28,355
Tell Caroline she owes me.

227
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:32,192
Who knows what STD I'm catching
from Oleg's butler costume?

228
00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:35,428
And why does
he even have this?

229
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:39,366
It's from when they play
"Going Downtown Abbey."

230
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:43,170
Maria, I need help
with my hair.

231
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,272
See what you can do.

232
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:49,376
Um, no, I'm not
really good at that.

233
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,845
Maria, just do it.
Go.

234
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,383
Okay.

235
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:59,252
You get one of those,
and that was it.

236
00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:05,458
Oh, there's my girl.
You look wonderful.

237
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:09,029
I forgot how good Chanel
feels against my skin.

238
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,397
It's like coming home,

239
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:13,333
but the house
is made of silk and hope.

240
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,468
How's this?
A little too Princess Leia?

241
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:22,275
On top!
I like it up on top.

242
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:23,877
Whoa!

243
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,752
Whoa, Grammy.
Keep it PG.

244
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:34,421
[elevator dings]

245
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,328
Where am I?

246
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:45,365
Oh, it's Gertrude Goolsby.

247
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,968
Your first and only
guest has arrived.

248
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:50,170
Astrid! Oh!

249
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,939
Oh, have to--oh.

250
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:55,308
Sneaks up on you.

251
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,080
Good luck with all this.

252
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:03,951
I'll be in the kitchen,
studying the Chipotle menu.

253
00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:05,518
For my next job.

254
00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:09,923
Don't you look smashing, Astrid.

255
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,826
I'm assuming.
I can't see anymore.

256
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:15,829
Well, I bet
you and Grammy have

257
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:18,899
a lot of fun stuff
to catch up on.

258
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:20,333
How is Gordon?

259
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,269
He has face cancer.

260
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:27,841
Or the weather
is also a subject.

261
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,510
We'd like the first course,
pronto.

262
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:33,513
Maria!
Look alive.

263
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,149
You're one to talk.

264
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:39,452
[bell dinging]

265
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,955
And she gets one of those
and that was it.

266
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,459
Dear, may I ask you
a question?

267
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,296
Where am I?

268
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:54,367
Oh, and where
is our sommelier?

269
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:57,370
At your service.

270
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:00,941
Some wine?

271
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,278
Um...

272
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:09,016
My bad.
This one's empty.

273
00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:11,084
I got bored.

274
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:15,989
And what about you, ma'am?

275
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,090
White, red,

276
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:19,859
or maybe you prefer
a chocolate brown?

277
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:23,997
I must be in New Orleans.

278
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,901
Here we go.

279
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:31,204
It's from
the Bordeaux region.

280
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:34,007
More like the Costco region.

281
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,045
Maria!

282
00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:40,213
That's me.

283
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:44,985
Why are these forks
not laid out correctly?

284
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:48,021
Maria, forks, now.

285
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,256
Glad you like that outfit,

286
00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:52,592
'cause you're gonna
be buried in it.

287
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:56,129
I think I'm gonna let this one
breathe in the kitchen.

288
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:01,368
Caroline, I'd like
to meet the chef.

289
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:04,904
Oh, of course.
Chef!

290
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,007
Booyah!

291
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:08,541
I'm Chef Oleg.

292
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:12,279
Gordon Ramsay once put
me in a headlock.

293
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:17,450
Please enjoy the first course
of my first course:

294
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,919
a tasty tortellini.

295
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:26,126
Caroline, this sauce
is delicious!

296
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:28,061
Oh, I'm so glad you like it.

297
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,997
This is the kind of luncheon
that makes you feel

298
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:34,134
like you can handle
anything that comes along.

299
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,436
Pity there aren't
more guests to enjoy it.

300
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,405
[elevator dings]

301
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,207
[posh accent]
Darling!

302
00:15:48,015 --> 00:15:51,451
Well, I hope I'm not late
for the luncheon!

303
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,558
Mmm!

304
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:01,128
[posh accent]
This crГЁme brГ»lГ©e
is just divine!

305
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:06,099
Don't mind
if I don't mind.

306
00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:13,473
[normal voice]
Uh, excuse me.
I have to tinkle.

307
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:16,209
Where's your john?

308
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,111
Oh, I forgot!

309
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,112
Yes, um...

310
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:22,149
[posh accent]
Pardon me, yes.

311
00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:25,485
Could you direct me to your...

312
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,220
Jonathan?

313
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,329
Astrid, darling,

314
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:39,666
I wasn't sure what to expect
from one of your lunches,

315
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,768
you know, since the scandal,

316
00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:43,470
since you lost all of your--

317
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,138
Gah!

318
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,075
I mean, uh...

319
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,410
Lunch is over.
Gertrude is leaving.

320
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,679
Scandal? What scandal?

321
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,314
Oh, you know.

322
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,649
The horror of
you not having any more--

323
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,751
Mayday!
Double dingle!

324
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,387
Maria, do something.

325
00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:02,021
(Gertrude)
Oh.

326
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:04,091
So you mean she doesn't
want to talk about the fact

327
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,525
that she's lost all her mon--

328
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:06,693
[glass shatters]

329
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:11,064
Oh, it's crystal
that broke.

330
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,333
I thought it was
one of Astrid's bones.

331
00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:17,170
I'll replace it.
I mean, I can't,

332
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:20,039
but it's the right thing
to say right now.

333
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:23,176
Maria,
that's my good crystal.

334
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:26,779
And it's not replaceable,
unlike you.

335
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,182
- Now go!
- Fine.

336
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:32,819
I'll go.
To wherever Maria lives.

337
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:36,789
But just know your granddaughter

338
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,726
worked really hard
to make this lunch all nice.

339
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,361
No, you don't
have to go.

340
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,330
Oh, can I go?

341
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:47,634
Maybe I should go too.

342
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:50,670
Would anyone buy
that I had plans?

343
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,339
No one is going.

344
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:54,341
I'm just gonna
pick up the broken crystal

345
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:58,077
and we'll just continue to
have the best luncheon ever.

346
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,213
Caroline!
Let the help do that.

347
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:02,615
Get up off of that floor!

348
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,384
You are not one of them.

349
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:10,223
Actually, yes, I am.

350
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:12,759
Grammy, you may have
been in a coma,

351
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:15,828
but I feel like it's me
that just woke up.

352
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,264
For the past five years,

353
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:20,767
I have been really missing
all of this,

354
00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:23,770
but it's not good crystal
that makes a life.

355
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:27,807
It's good people.
People like them.

356
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:31,411
And they are not "the help,"

357
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:34,147
but they did
come here to help me.

358
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:35,382
'Cause you and I
might be related,

359
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:39,186
but these people
are my family now.

360
00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:42,522
And also, I should tell you,

361
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,425
I don't work on Wall Street.

362
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:48,895
I work in Brooklyn,
in a diner.

363
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,864
See?
I'm a waitress.

364
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,733
That's debatable.

365
00:18:58,205 --> 00:19:00,540
I don't understand.

366
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:05,678
You're a Channing.
How could you be a waitress?

367
00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:08,415
Because she lost all her money

368
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:12,285
when you lost all
your money.

369
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:14,487
[heart monitor beats faster]

370
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:17,424
- Caroline, what is she saying?
- Nothing, she's saying nothing.

371
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:19,426
I'm saying,

372
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:21,761
you're poor.

373
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,363
[heart monitor beats increase]

374
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:25,598
[gasping]

375
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:29,168
[heart monitor flatlines]

376
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:31,304
Oh, I leave for two minutes

377
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:34,374
and the party really
goes downhill!

378
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,852
I'm sorry again about
your grandma, darlin'.

379
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,320
Thanks, Earl.

380
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,456
Well, she did die
doing what she loved:

381
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,591
being rich and
yelling at the help.

382
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,862
[crying]

383
00:19:55,962 --> 00:20:00,300
I'm gonna miss her so much!

384
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,736
Sophie, you knew her
for three courses.

385
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:08,207
I know; I didn't win that Polish
daytime Emmy for nothing!

386
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:12,879
You know, Caroline,
you did the right thing

387
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,213
throwing that luncheon.

388
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,548
And I pulled a glute

389
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:19,386
pushing your lovely
racist grandmother around.

390
00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:22,555
I really appreciate you guys
helping me with the luncheon.

391
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:26,293
And, Oleg, I tried the food,
and it wasn't gross.

392
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:30,229
You hear that, Han?
Wasn't. Gross.

393
00:20:31,498 --> 00:20:33,466
After being a servant
for a few hours,

394
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,868
I get how much you all
have to put up with.

395
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,971
So, I'm giving
you all a raise!

396
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,741
Thank you so much, Han!

397
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:42,909
Everyone?

398
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:46,012
They don't need
drug money for a baby.

399
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:49,516
No, but we need drug money
for a 27-year-old woman.